Black Marriage Negotiations

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgyg8vEHraE

The Black Marriage Negotiation (BMN) videos are an interesting way to express the Black man’s fear of marrying a Black woman. Although I do not believe many Black women fit the description of the abrasive, unrealistic, and demanding women portrayed in the video, the depictions of the strong, independent Black woman seem to have a negative affect on Black men. It sends the message that men should not be attracted to women who have success. Why? I have no idea, but I think this mindset is irrational and pathetic. I would argue that if you talk to any man who is married to a “dependent” woman, he’ll tell you her lack of “independence” hinders his ability to be happy. Furthermore, I believe we are forgetting that the “independent” woman is doing what ANY adult should be doing. We never refer to any man as an “independent” man for taking care of his responsibilities as a single father, homeowner, businessperson, etc. So why do we assume that a Black woman capable of doing all of these things is some kind of phenomenon? Do we not expect Black women have a full-time job, a house, a car and be successful? Although I applaud any person (especially Black women) for not being dependent on another, being an adult means we are supposed to be independent and successful, however it is you define “success.”